Learn how to become deaf aware and gain confidence when approaching deaf people with these deaf etiquette tips below.
One of the biggest mistakes a hearing person can make is not knowing deaf etiquette ahead of time. For example, you may want to approach a deaf person and ask if he or she can hear you.
That’s a red flag. To prevent you from becoming embarrassed, take a step back to learn more about deaf people and their communication forms.
Most deaf people cannot rely on other communication forms that hearing people can depend on their abilities to hear.
Like watching and hearing movies without closed captioning/subtitles, listening to music, and understanding the lyrics.
It can be tiring and frustrating for them while giving them a sense of isolation – especially when making adjustments to live through the “hearing” world every day.
Although it isn’t anyone’s fault and the best way we can do is bring deaf awareness to you.
Why is it essential to become deaf aware?
According to the World Health Organization, more than 446 million people worldwide have different hearing loss levels.
It means by the year 2050, it’ll double!
We are more likely to meet deaf and hard-of-hearing people in our lifetimes compared to the past.
It’ll go from the chance of meeting 1-in-20 to 1-in-5 people!
You also are more likely to meet Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing people online more than ever before, especially with social media!
There are many ways to approach and communicate effectively and efficiently. To become adaptative in meeting them, here are 15 deaf etiquettes below.
Tip #1: Levels of Deafness
When you meet a person, if they say they’re deaf. It doesn’t mean they are “profoundly” deaf.
To understand the different hearing loss levels they may have. Take a look at their abilities to hear and how it varies after taking a hearing (audiometry) test:
- Mild Hearing Loss (20-40 decibels): Being in a library.
- Moderate Hearing Loss (41-60 decibels): Holding a normal conversation.
- Severe Hearing Loss (61-80 decibels): Flushing the toilet.
- Profound Hearing Loss (81+ decibels): Mowing the lawn.
Most hard-of-hearing people may have mild to severe hearing loss, and deaf people may have severe to profound hearing loss.
Knowing the hearing loss levels ensure you’ll be able to make adaptations with communication methods as much as possible.
If you notice them wearing a hearing aid or a cochlear implant, you may want to learn more here. It doesn’t mean you can have a conversation immediately.
Tip #2: Different Communication Styles
Each person will have their way of communicating, and that it wouldn’t be the same for everyone.
For instance, this person may share only with sign language. Other people could read lips and communicate in return with voice without the need to sign.
Others may need sign language interpreters, and some don’t need interpreters at all.
Some could hear to the point that they can hold a conversation and respond directly.
When you meet a deaf or hard-of-hearing person, do this in the order:
- Say hi or hello, with a wave.
- Ask if he or she can read lips.
- If not, pull out paper and pen – or use the phone to type and show.
Doing this will help both of you become relaxed and create a safe and comfortable atmosphere.
Tip #3: Types of Environment
It may be challenging for them to understand what you’ll say, especially in a noisy or dim environment.
With a noisy environment, they have to become more aware of the space they’re surrounding themselves in.
Deaf people may seem ignorant, but they’re not because they are using their peripheral vision to ensure they’re safe, too.
They may have difficulty seeing your lips, body language, or gestures in a dim environment. You’ll know if the environment’s not bright enough when they ask you to repeat what you’re saying frequently.
If you ever felt that a deaf person isn’t paying attention to you, remind yourself that it’s not a valid answer.
Ask if there’s a better solution by moving to a new spot with fewer distractions or has more light.
It will help resume the conversation if needed.
Tip #4: Deaf Identity
There are three groups of people who prefer to label themselves with either:
- A person says “Deaf” with a big “D” that refers to cultural identity.
It shows a cultural identity for people with hearing loss who share a common culture and share sign language like American Sign Language.
- Says “deaf” with a little “d” usually refers to different hearing loss.
Some people don’t use sign language and prefer to communicate orally.
They identify themselves with this group – like growing up with little to no exposure in the Deaf community.
- Hard-of-hearing is a widely-accepted term to describe someone with mild to moderate hearing loss.
This group is most likely not to use sign language as their first or preferred language. It may be because they prefer not to or they didn’t have the opportunity to learn.
Each person has his or her preferred term when it comes to identifying themselves. If you’re not sure about this person, you can ask because it’s deaf etiquette-friendly!
Tip #5: Deaf or Hard-of-hearing?
How do you know if this person is deaf or hard-of-hearing? The first thing you’d want to do is to determine if:
- Appears to ignore you,
- Wear a hearing aid or cochlear implant,
- Paying close attention to your facial expressions,
- Communicate with hand gestures you don’t understand,
- Looks confused when having a conversation,
- Ask you to repeat words or phrases.
If this is the case, it is more likely that they are deaf instead of hard-of-hearing.
Don’t fret. Ask what is the preferred communication method and let it flow from there.
Tip #6: Getting A Person’s Attention
When you want to get this person’s attention, wait until you’re in their field of vision.
Give a friendly wave to show your interest in starting a conversation.
If you’re unable to get their attention, walk up and tap on his or her shoulder. Yes, this is even deaf etiquette-friendly and wouldn’t scare them!
Don’t forget to smile and actively maintain eye contact from time to time (but not in a creepy way, okay?).
Tip #7: Positioning Yourself Correctly
You’ll want to keep your distance by standing about 3 to 6 feet from the deaf person to give him or her plenty of space.
It’ll help them read your lips, your facial expressions, your hands (if you know sign language), and body language.
Make eye contact and make sure to keep it while you talk, and try not to look away (they cannot read the side of lips) or cover your mouth.
If the deaf person is standing, please do stand.
If the deaf person happens to be sitting, ask if it’s okay for you to sit down, too.
Tip #8: Introducing Yourself
When you meet a deaf or hard-of-hearing person, be aware that they spend a lot of energy with lip-reading and communication.
When you introduce your name, make sure to maintain eye contact, speak clearly (don’t slow down or speed up, but keep it at an average pace).
Don’t mumble, shout, or overly exaggerated.
Make sure not to cover your mouth or try to talk with food in the mouth.
You’ll make a deaf person’s day if you know how to say hello, fingerspell the alphabet, sign a few words like how are you, my name is…, thank you, you’re welcome, or have a great day.
It is one of the tips that will take your deaf etiquette to the next level!
Tip #9: Body Language and Visual Cues
When you communicate with deaf and hard-of-hearing people, try to include some simple gestures (even if you don’t know sign language yet) can help get your points across.
Examples like pointing at yourself when you’re talking about you (“I”/”Me”), pointing at an object like a coffee or laptop, etc.
It will help them build the context you’re trying to say.
However, you don’t want to overdo it because it can be distracting or that it’ll hold you back from having a natural conversation with them (e.g., distracting them from reading your lips).
Tip #10: Ask Without Hesitations
Ask them if they can read lips (don’t ever ask if they can hear).
If they do, great!
If they don’t, it’s still great because you can use some tools like paper and pen (even a napkin works!), using your phone to type and then show it to him/her.
Deaf and hard-of-hearing people are flexible with whatever communication tools are present; however, you’d want to be flexible, too, by becoming adaptative as well.
Most of the time, deaf people like to use their phones to type and then show it to people while telling them upfront that they are deaf (by pointing at their ears).
It is typical for asking questions at stores, ordering a coffee, or pulling up the drive-thru window at a fast-food restaurant.
Tip #11: Learn Sign Language
You don’t need to be fluent in sign language, but learning a few signs can help.
Especially if you’re working in a customer-centric environment like restaurants, coffee shops, retails, and hospitals.
It will elevate your skills and takes your deaf etiquette to the next level.
It will also help expand your deaf awareness with others, which is what deaf and hard-of-hearing people appreciate.
If you don’t know how or where to get started, don’t hesitate to sign up and receive your free four ASL lessons that will be sent directly to your inbox.
Tip #12: Specific Words Not to Use
They have specific words in their communities that they don’t like others to use either derogatory or rude.
The first word is “hearing impaired,” as it is not the word you’d want to use, especially within the deaf and hard of hearing community.
They perceive it as unfavorable and prefer the term deaf because they like to use it and identify with their communities with pride.
Sure, hearing impairment is being used by doctors or physicians to describe the physical condition of not being able to hear.
It makes them feel broken when, in reality, they cannot hear and do not hold them back from doing whatever they want while participating in society.
It also refers to physically deaf people, but it doesn’t identify themselves as the signing community members because they don’t believe being deaf is a disability.
Second, you don’t want to say, “never mind,” because you do not give them a chance to figure out how to communicate with you better when used.
Thus, they find it disrespectful because it makes them feel isolated and unimportant (even if you didn’t mean it intentionally and that you were trying to be friendly about it).
The next tip is to discuss questions that people shouldn’t ask deaf and hard of hearing related to their abilities to do something.
Tip #13: Specific Questions Not to Ask
Have you ever wonder if there is a right or wrong question to ask a deaf or hard-of-hearing person?
Yes, there is. Here are a couple of examples you don’t want to ask them:
- “Why don’t you get a hearing aid or cochlear implant?”
There are two outcomes:
1.) They may have tried these devices in the past and decided they don’t want to use them or that they didn’t work the way they wanted.
2.) They’re not for the idea of using a device to help them because they decide to accept themselves for who they are and become adaptative with whatever the world throws at them.
Instead, you could ask them if they use any assistive devices to help them like alarm clock to wake up in the morning, doorbells, fire alarms, etc.?
- “How do you work if you cannot hear?”
Instead, ask them what they do for a living.
Many jobs do not require the ability to hear – like graphic designing, programming, coding, photography, customer services through live chats, etc.
- “Can you read and write?”
Surprisingly, this has been asked very often in the deaf and hard-of-hearing community.
Yes, the deaf and hard-of-hearing people definitely can read and write.
Also, please don’t ask them if they can read Braille as it is for people who are blind or near-sighted.
- “Can you drive?”
Yes, they can – it doesn’t require the ability to hear as it does with eyes.
Studies show that being deaf has no negative impact on their abilities to drive.
They can use their peripheral vision to see cops and ambulance much earlier than people who can hear.
Some of them have unique devices that alert them when emergency vehicle sirens are close to them or honk from other cars.
Panoramic mirrors are also other tools to use.
If they are unable to or are not allowed to drive their vehicles, they wouldn’t gain access to their employment or any services, especially for emergencies!
Tip #14: Be Patient
For deaf and hard of hearing people being able to communicate with you can be difficult.
It also can cause some of them to have anxiety, but it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.
If you continue to show your patience with them on the top of your willingness to learn, they will become more comfortable.
You may need to repeat words or phrases because they do the best they can to put them together to understand what you’re trying to say.
Do not forget to smile and maintain eye contact; you’ll be fine, and they will appreciate you – more than you know!
Tip #15: Sign Language Interpreters
If you happen to see a sign language interpreter with a deaf person, there are a couple of things you should know:
- The interpreter does not go everywhere with this person, but to show up for an appointment to ensure this person is getting all of the vital information they need (e.g., a doctor’s appointment, meeting with the banker, in a class, etc.).
- Maintain eye contact with a deaf or hard-of-hearing person instead of the interpreter. The interpreter is the “middle” person in helping you communicate with the deaf and hard-of-hearing person and vice versa.
- Speak as you usually would (e.g., pace, how you’re sharing content, etc.) as there is no need for you to slow down or speed up unless the interpreter asks you to.
- Don’t ask the interpreter to “tell him/her.”
- Please don’t ask the interpreter for their personal opinion, their job, etc. while the interpreter works.
Lastly, don’t distract the deaf or hard-of-hearing person and the interpreter by moving around too much.
To learn more about the do’s and don’ts with sign language interpreters, click here.
Deaf Etiquette Infographic
Conclusion
If you’re still unsure about how to approach a deaf or hard-of-hearing person, there are two things you can do to master deaf etiquette and expand deaf awareness.
Ask the person for his/her suggestions to improve communication or sign up for four free ASL lessons by clicking here.
It’s a two-way street because they love the opportunities to communicate with you just like you do! They’ll be impressed with your deaf etiquette, too!
Comment below if you have met someone who is deaf or hard-of-hearing, and if so – was it a good experience?
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